Rizz, charm, game, whatever you call it, most of us want to feel confident when we walk into a room. For a lot of people, the shortcut to that feeling has always been a drink. One glass to take the edge off. Another to feel funny. A third to finally talk to the person across the bar. It is such a familiar script that “liquid courage” has become a cliché.
For people with social anxiety, though, that script can quietly turn into a trap. The relief alcohol provides is real but short-lived, and over time the brain can start to believe it cannot handle social situations without it. When the pattern becomes entrenched, breaking it often takes more than willpower. Some people work through it with a therapist. Others need more intensive support, such as integrated therapy for co-occurring conditions or group work within Luxury Inpatient Rehab Services Malibu programs, where anxiety and drinking can be treated together.
Anxiety is common. SAMHSA’s 2025 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which added an anxiety measure in recent years, found that 6.6% of U.S. adults, about 17.5 million people, reported moderate or severe anxiety symptoms in the past two weeks. Here is why social anxiety and alcohol so often travel together, and how real confidence gets built.
How Common Is the Overlap?
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) reports that social anxiety disorder affects about 7% of the U.S. population in any given year, and that about 20% of people with social anxiety disorder also have an alcohol use problem. It is not unusual, ADAA notes, for people with anxiety disorders to drink excessively to cope with or escape their symptoms.
A study published in Psychological Medicine using data from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism’s National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions found that in nearly 80% of cases where both conditions occurred, social anxiety disorder came before alcohol dependence. The same research linked co-occurring social anxiety with more severe alcohol problems.
Why the Shortcut Backfires
Alcohol can temporarily dull the fear of judgment. That is exactly why it is so tempting. But the relief comes with a cost that is easy to miss.
The Rebound Effect
ADAA notes that while alcohol can briefly reduce social anxiety symptoms, it can also increase anxiety, irritability, or depression a few hours later or the next day. Many people know this as “hangxiety,” that morning-after replay of everything you said, wondering whether any of it was embarrassing.
The Learning Problem
Confidence grows through experience. Each time you get through a conversation and realize it went fine, your brain updates its expectations. When alcohol is always present, the brain may credit the drink instead of you. The lesson becomes “I can only do this when I’m drinking,” which makes the next sober situation feel even harder.
Signs Your Confidence Has Become Borrowed
There is a difference between enjoying a drink with friends and needing one to function socially. These patterns suggest alcohol may be doing more work than you realize.
- You drink before you arrive. Having a drink at home before a party or date to “warm up” is a common sign that alcohol has become a tool for managing anxiety rather than a social pleasure.
- You avoid events where drinking is not an option. Skipping a daytime gathering, a work lunch, or an alcohol-free party because you cannot imagine getting through it sober is worth paying attention to.
- The next day feels worse than the event. Regular waves of regret, worry, or low mood after social drinking can reflect the rebound effect ADAA describes, which can keep the cycle spinning.
- You need more to get the same relief. If one drink used to do it and now it takes three, tolerance may be building. That pattern can move social drinking toward a more serious problem over time.
- People close to you have commented. Friends often notice changes before we do. Gentle comments about how much you drink at events are worth hearing out rather than laughing off.
Recognizing one or two of these signs does not mean you have a disorder. It does mean it might be time to build confidence that does not come in a glass.
Building Confidence That Is Actually Yours
The encouraging news is that social anxiety is highly treatable, and so are drinking problems, especially when both are addressed together.
Therapy That Targets Both
ADAA points to research showing that combining cognitive behavioral therapy with motivational enhancement therapy may help people with both social anxiety and alcohol problems. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps people challenge fearful predictions and gradually practice social situations, while motivational approaches help strengthen a person’s own reasons for changing how they drink. A licensed therapist can tailor these methods to individual needs.
Small, Sober Practice Reps
Confidence is like a muscle that grows with use. Try starting with low-pressure situations: a quick chat with a barista, a coffee date instead of a bar date, or arriving early to a gathering when the room is quieter. Each small success gives your brain new evidence that you can handle it.
Make the Glass in Your Hand Interesting
Holding a drink can feel like a social prop. A sparkling water with lime, a craft soda, or a nonalcoholic beer gives your hands something to do without the rebound. Gallup’s 2026 survey found that among people who drink nonalcoholic alternatives, 38% say they are drinking more of them than they used to, so you will hardly stand out.
When to Get Professional Help
If you have tried to cut back and could not, if you experience shakiness or sweating when you stop drinking, or if anxiety is limiting your work, relationships, or daily life, it is time to talk with a healthcare provider. Treating only the drinking or only the anxiety often leaves the other problem to pull you back. The most effective plans usually address both at once.
Real rizz is not about never feeling nervous. It is about showing up as yourself, nerves included. That kind of confidence lasts a lot longer than the buzz.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Why do people with social anxiety drink more?
Alcohol can temporarily reduce feelings of fear and self-consciousness, which makes it a tempting coping tool. ADAA reports that about 20% of people with social anxiety disorder also have an alcohol use problem.
2. Can drinking make anxiety worse?
Yes. According to ADAA, alcohol may ease social anxiety briefly but can increase anxiety, irritability, or depression hours later or the next day, which can reinforce the cycle.
3. What kind of treatment helps both social anxiety and drinking?
Research highlighted by ADAA suggests combining cognitive behavioral therapy with motivational enhancement therapy can help. A licensed mental health professional can recommend the right approach, and SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 offers free, confidential referrals.
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